I used to be a nervous little thing. I remember being near the back of the bus into Wollongong. I remember the bus stop approaching and my stomach churning. My finger poised over the button. Some one beating me to it. Relief.

I remember timing the standing up with that near bus stop. The walking down the moving bus and the waiting at the doors. Yearning for that moment when the feet touch the footpath and the walking starts.

Touchdown! Bus pulls away and the fear is gone. Fear of humiliation, of being looked at, what are all those strangers thinking of this fearful young girl? Do they know?

Over the years, that fear has faded away to a vague throb. Those ‘bus nerves’ threaten to overwhelm me again from time to time. But I know there will be a time when they will be gone, like a long, lost, annoying friend. I will remember them with a smile and let them go.

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