Dear Technology,

How I love you! I love your speed, your efficiency, the way you open up the world. Thank you technology for making things easy-

* for irons (though I don’t use one, I appreciate that it’s there when I want to look my best).

* for dishwashers (a million times THANKYOU).

* for cars, buses, planes, cranes, electric jigsaws, rollercoasters, swimming pools, trains and the internet.

* Credit facilities, televisions, dvds (when the television SUCKS) and Wii’s.

* for all the things that do what they’re promised to do in the time they say they will!

However! Dear old technology. Sometimes your promises fall flat, your flashiness dullifies and you let us down. Your high standards raise our expectations and when they are not met, well, then you have people throwing tantrums, throwing computers, throwing cutlery and soap! Not good, no!

Oh and I’ve heard a rumour about you! It’s about so-called ‘new’ appliances. I’ve heard that the ‘new’ technology is there to rip us off! Like you are so clever that you design these goods with gliches BUILT IN to keep yourself in business! No, no and no! That is not good behaviour, technology!

Oh technology, how I long to throw you out the window and use my bare hands again! But no, I’m too used to this pampered lifestyle and refuse to wash another piece of cutlery!

Please think about what I’ve said. We love you as long as you BEHAVE!