There’s a youtube guru who sits at my breakfast table in a beanie. He sips his morning coffee and chomps down on his weetbix. His mornings are yellow. They are easy and clean and bright. He loves them. This is his time to shine. Which really means one thing, the singlet dance.

This youtube guru loves to entertain. He loves to compete with his female counterpart to see who can be the funniest. He has a trick he loves to do where a coin mysteriously travels up his arm and into the opposite hand. His other crowd pleaser is where he stands behind a door, with his head peeking around and uses his hand to grab his head and yank it out of sight. Classic guru stuff.

Another fav is where he pretends to be on an escalator as he moves out of a room; small potatoes really. Other entertaining acts include the pony ride, the rumble and of course the extreme hammock swing. He is not limited to extreme sports, however. Oh no. He covers both the macro and the micro.

He cannot help but do the farty hand trick on a daily basis. This was passed on to him from his lovely grandfather, Morty, so it’s a bit special. Put two hands together, catch some air in the middle and pump. Soon you will be delighting your own crowd with uncouth sounds.

The final genre of entertainment is music. He brings much joy to the very local children by trying to outdance his Mrs. This requires some Bon Jovi, Credence or ACDC. His act usually consists of some heavy air guitar mixed with some classic moves from musical theatre. For this, he usually wears a black beanie, white singlet and jeans with cuffs. Think a really bad West Side Story impression. But top marks for effort.

To the youtube guru who sits at my breakfast table, thanks for the fun, entertainment and competition. I hope that you can find it in yourself to come up with some new moves for the new decade.