I’m reaching the age where the word ‘cool’ should be deleted from my vocabulary. And my latest blast from the past has been the word ‘groovy’. I wasn’t even alive in the early 70’s. Vat vas  I sinking?

Yes, folks, the time has come to start using grown up words like ‘deficit’ and ‘circumspect’ and ‘mind you’. I feel like I’m studying for the next phase of my life. The mature but not old years. Those years where your funkiness will have wrinkles and your bones will only allow you to sit around discussing world events while sipping on a glass of mature wine. My muscles have morphed from the youthful and elastic to tight and now stubbornly set in their ways. They will sit and stand (but not for too long) and the walking motion is usually restricted to a leisurely pace.

A dear friend kindly informed me that I am the new owner of three grey

Image by Nick Fraser

hairs! Three!I now have buy shares in Garnier or L’oreal. Then there are the products for saggy, pale and unattractive skin. Talk about pricey. What is youth worth to us Yolds? Is there a point in time when all this cosmetic fiddling is too little too late? When do we just give up, colour our hair purple and let the darn hairs free to roam our leathery faces? When will the cosmetic companies just leave us to ripen on our own?

Then there are expectations. Being in the prime of our lives, we are expected to know stuff, to have some awesome wisdom and give advice to the younger generation. All I hear is crickets! When you’re a Yold that still feels eighteen it’s hard to think of the right things to say. What a responsibility! Perhaps we should learn some quotes from people like:
* Sophocles – “A soul that is kind and intends justice discovers more than any sophist.”
* Aeschylus – “And though all streams flow from a single course to cleanse the blood from polluted hand, they hasten on their course in vain.”
* Euripides – “No one is truly free, they are a slave to wealth, fortune, the law, or other people restraining them from acting according to their will.”
* Marilyn Monroe – “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”

It’s all deep, unknowable stuff. It is the start of the middle, the darkening of circles, the deepening of wrinkles, the bombardment of chemicals with the promise of eternal youth. And so, to my dear friends ‘cool’ and ‘groovy’, I bid you goodbye. It’s been choice, rad, awesome. But now, I have more mature fish to fry, chins to stroke and wise blinking to do.