Image by Andrew Parnell

I have a confession to make. I am a reverse racist. And I’m trying to decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

I love people. I love the variety of people we have in Australia; the culture, the stories. I love my  claim that I am related to a Samoan New Zealander. I think that’s quite cool and I’m proud to have some relation to some heritage.

You see, I have no culture. I am a bitser and here it goes,I will prove it to you.
My Heritage, by Emma Watson:

  • Part English, Irish, French(?), Scandinavian, Jewish, Portuguese, Greek and Australian (whatever that means)
  • I am part Viking or part of the French upper crust or some such what!?!
  • I am a country bumpkin, a beaches bumpkin, a ‘city’ dweller and have a history in rural Australia (Go Lismore!)
  • My eyebrows are from Greece, my height from Scandanavia, my skin from Portugal and my sense of humour…. Irish???





Is it any wonder, then, that I am drawn to people with culture? Those that have definite characteristics of some deep and strong heritage. Here I am, bobbing up and down in a jelly sea full of possibilities yet sadly lacking in definites.

I cling on to my Irish friend with the thick accent, cos maybe there’s a bit of my heritage somewhere in those rolling ‘rrrrrs’ and haunting panpipes. I have tendencies to smash plates and throw my hands up in the sky. But alone, it just seems wasteful and silly.

My language is plain, dull, Aussie with a touch of okka and upper. There are no cultural celebrations to partake in. I tried the Samoan dance at my cousin’s wedding, resulting in a robot, stiff type of dance. I am not loose, hip, swingy when it comes to dancing. I am simply white when it comes to dancing. There goes my Greek/ Portugese / Jewish heritage. What would my forefathers say?

To all the culture-rich out there, count your blessings, my friends. For the rest of us walk around, eyes darting back and forth, looking here, looking there, to find our identity, our past, to give meaning to who we are today. Don’t think I am a terrible person when I am being a reverse racist. I love diversity, I love variety. And when it comes down to it, I’m simply envious of your vast riches and wanna be adopted by you!