I play soccer. Not very well, but I give it a go for the fun of it and for the exercise.

I’ve gone from feeling hopeless with my big feet trying to control this ridiculous ball while these amateur professionals seem to have complete control. I used to turn up to a game in a foul mood, feeling rather hopeless. That is, until I discovered a position that let me use my massive hands! My hands! Yes, I am talking goalie here and this is where things get interesting. We were having a rather intense game (ended up 4-4 yay) and I was throwing my aging body this way and that. What I didn’t realise was that the ball kept narrowly, narrowly missing my face, my nose, my head region and the spectators were all holding their breath. Where was I? In denial.

Denial is a beautiful place of palm trees, golden sand and sparkling blue water. You know the type. Ah, days when you find yourself in denial are very peaceful and calm, though the stomach region may be telling you something completely different. I may have blogged on this very topic many moons ago, but I find the whole thing fascinating and calming.

Come with me, if you will, into a cloudy heavenly place where stress and manicality go to die! One of my favourite denials is the thought that everybody loves me and if they don’t they will tell me so. No they won’t and I’d be horrified if someone came up and told me to my face. Easy to say, young lady. It is times when I tire of being paranoid, reading body language and fearing the world is against me. That is when I float away and pretend all is fine and the world is my oyster (or prawn, I much prefer prawns).

I often live in denial about the state of my house, until the dust piles so thick on the tv, it’s ridiculous or the toilet changes colour. Then there are times when the shine has worn off the floorboards and they look cloudy and I tread on a sharp toy/texta/ brush for the umpteenth time! Dude. Clean up why don’t you.

The aftermath of denial is the ‘thud’ back to earth, which is often not pleasant. Like when you’ve been woken out of a lovely, safe, harmonious dream. A thud is akin to a slap, really. You are forced to face reality, to deal with messy problems and relationships. In the end, I am happy to have denial moments mixed in with a bit of ‘thud’, cos you know the cloudy, sunny days of denial are just around the corner.

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