image by George Shuklin

The case before us today is the state (of a rational mind) versus the Japanese singing mice brigade. Let us all come to order. Ahem.

The singing mouse in question has been created in a Japanese lab. These Japanese scientists are messing around genetically modifying mouse DNA to find out how our human language began.
(See: Now, I’m not a scientist but this seems like a complete waste of time, money and skills. Who cares where our language came from, we don’t use it properly anyway. Our language, itself, is being mutated by technology and evolving into something quite strange. Why look back when we’re struggling to hold on to what we have now?

I have a strange feeling that all the mad scientist disaster movies are coming true. We are going to breed these indestructible breeds of animals and they are going to take over the world, mark my words. And we’ll probably mix so many animals and DNA’s and all together that we’ll only be left with one ginormous animal which will make visiting the zoo one boring affair. Warning modern technological scientific geniuses, we are headed for destruction.

But then again, a singing mouse may be sweet. Instead of having a canary, you’ll be able to have a mouse sing you awake in the morning. Imagine the fun the mouse would have running on that boring wheel, whistling a tune. Entertainment to the extreme for all involved. Will we be able to teach it specific songs or will they eventually be able to talk like a parrot? It seems oddly intriguing does it not? But wrong, wrong, wrong.

Humanity has come a long way since those naive caveperson days. Perhaps we feel we have learnt enough about the world around us. We strut around quoting ‘fact’ after ‘fact’, boasting of how much we know. Our insatiable hunger for more to boast about has driven us to play ‘God’. By messing around with DNA, genes and breeds we have the perfect excuse to make ourselves seem smarter than we really are. But what for? For the sake of our language. Pah! Talk to me about finding a cure for Cancer. That’s where the rubber hits the road!

I will now deliver my judgement on the case of the singing rodent. I do declare that the idea of a musical mouse is irrelevant to most of the world. And besides, we already have one, hand drawn, smiley, sings in tune and you can turn him off when his high pitched voice gets annoying. I’ll vote for Mickey any day.