Yes, it is that time of year when the ‘R’ word is bandied about like it’s nobody’s business; RESOLUTION. I don’t know about you but I seem to have resolutions all year ’round.

I call them ‘gotta’s. “I gotta get fit, I gotta read more, I gotta play with my kids more, I gotta have more fun, I gotta earn more money, I gotta hang out with friends more often, have more bbqs, get more frequent hair cuts, look after skin/hair/ body better, gotta, gotta, gotta!” No pressure there.

Last year I started the resolution season in a tizz! My son was starting school and my daughter pre-school and so my place in the world was shaken. Resolutions/gottas started frothing from my mouth and flying out of my ears until I felt like hiding in a corner for a spot of rocking. But not this year my friends, oh no. This year is different.

Sure, I still gotta get fit and gotta have more fun but there is no panic. I know my place in the world, I have landed on my feet (or  near enough to). It’s fun watching the kids grow up, my husband get exciting work and my writing develop. I have a job or two on the horizon and an article to be published soon. I have direction and determination and I kinda know how and what to do, without the panic but still with a fair amount of fear. This fear I have renamed, ‘adrenalin’, cos it’s a blast. Sure, it is still scary being a thirty-something year old writing novice but you’ve gotta (there’s that word again) start somewhere, sometime. And now is my time.

2011 has resolutions that are achievable and down right exciting. The kids and the hubby are fairly happy, the sun is shining, I live near the beach in the most beautiful country in the world and my cup runneth over! It could be the shopping buzz talking (I got 50% off a dress today!!!) but life is finally light and bright.

In the past three years there has been a lot of darkness and mud wading going on if you get my drift. You know those times where you just can’t seem to move forward? You have no choice but to keep your head above mud/water and keep pushing through though your muscles ache and your teeth grind and you stare towards the horizon, tears blurring your vision. It is literally sink or wade time and who wants to sink?

So, the brightness of this new day gives me extra joy in comparison to the muddy days of yore when basically everything came crashing down and it all sucked. Now, things suck much less and I feel eternally grateful for all the goodness around me; people, places and the like. My New Years resolution is to be grateful and do the best I can and have fun doing it!