Tonight I’m going to a free Zumba class. For a tall lass with lanky arms and legs, this could be quite a humiliating experience. How does one dance again?

I think the hips are supposed to be slightly separated from the torso! They wiggle and flap…I guess (depending on how much extra luggage you’re carrying down there). Then there are the steps. For feet as big as mine it takes twice as long for them to carry out these fast paced movements, so I have to work twice as hard. Kudos, Emma! The arms have a role too, I hear. No flabby arms for Zumbanians! So do they swing or strut or pose? And how on earth do I put the three together and look good at the same time? Impossible!

Over the past ten or so years I have resorted to silly dancing. Because ultimately that’s what I look best doing. Having kids makes it easier to get away with such ridiculous moves. They join in and you have yourself a decent and funny kind of dance party. No judgement, just giggles and great beats. Silly dancing involves pulling crazy faces, large movements and a little bit of slapstick. The bigger the better. Nothing beats the sound of my kids wetting themselves laughing over something awesomely funny that I’m doing. I don’t really care what anyone else thinks as long as they’re amused.

But then there’s public dancing. Now silly dancing is ok in public if you have a fun group of friends around you who will laugh at you in love or join in themselves. However, if your friends are dull and easily embarrassed, stick to the occasional clapping of hands and the side-to-side foot movement with a mildly amused look on your face. Or just sit and have a drink and watch the professionals do their thing.

When it comes to ‘exercise dancing’ such as Zumba, there’s nothing for it except tears of laughter and a touch of the silly. Wiggling the bottom, c’mon, that’s funny. I hope there’s no belly dancing component. In the end I just want to do something that is exercise without realising it’s exercise. More fun than pain and Zumba seems like the perfect option.

Love the laugh!!!! Get the picture?