Sometimes I imagine myself flying over my life, over the world, over time. I think about what I will be pondering on my deathbed. Will I think about all the lovely clothes I wore or the important people I met or those hours I spent in front of the tv?

Probably not. As they say at the end, all you treasure are relationships. I believe you will finally reach that state of mind that genuinely doesn’t care about what people think… cos it doesn’t matter anymore. Hours may drag by as you recount flowery days of yore: that time you stayed up all night with tiny so-and-so, the hussle and bussle of sporting and creative activities, the constantly filled calendar, the yearning in your heart for quiet and rest. You may remember those who have gone before you, the ones who had made the final journey too soon or just in time. Tears of regret or sadness or loss may overwhelm you in that place.

Happier days may sadden you as you wish for them back, but time ticks on. Time may have been your enemy when you were young but now, your best bud! What will you do in those final hours? Who and what will really matter?

It’s good to think on such things. Not in a morbid way but to shift your perspective in the here and now. What matters at the end should matter now. Things that are inconsequential should know their place now! Why do we spend hours worrying over how we come across to other people? We care about looking stupid in front of the so-called ‘intelligent’, immature in front of the wise and boring to the fun! For the rich we dress up for the poor we don’t care when it should be the other way around.

I’ve spent hours worrying about if I’ve offended close friends or if they will reject me because something minor happened. The insecurities in friendships can be the death of them if we dwell on such small things. I hope my friends have grace for me when I do dumb or say silly things as I do when I’m nervous or excited. I hope they know me enough to know my heart is firmly in the right place.

I love relationships. I love spending time with my family and friends. It all comes back to simplicity. If you can have healthy relationships then you have discovered the heart of life. It is not about how we appear with material stuff or the masks we wear it’s about our heart of hearts and the purpose of our everyday lives. We all have a part to play in the bigger picture and that’s what I’ll be thinking about on my deathbed; how well I played it.

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