Being a mum isn’t just about giving birth to a child, raising it right and doing the best you can. Let’s be honest. Once you have a kid, you are almost forced into interacting with other mums and they’re not always your biggest fan. We can be a judgemental lot!

You’d think that other mums would have your back. Shared experience is often what draws people together but there are so many variables within parenting that your experience or choices aren’t always the same as the mum next door. If you’re a stay at home mum, for example, there may be working mothers who cannot understand your choice to stay home, watch Oprah, put on weight and do nothing! It is as if they have tattooed ‘Loser’ or ‘Lazy’ on your head; like parenting is a walk in the park! I have heard of people who see staying at home and raising kids as “boring”. I say, why have kids if you’re not willing to put some “boring” time into getting to know them.

It’s a hot topic, that’s for sure. Then there’s the working mums who have to work and the stay at home lot give them the evil eye, like they are criminals. I have to admit to doing that myself sometimes. But, as I learned to be a bit more humble, I have now come to admire the working mums who are forced back to work by circumstances. It’s a tough gig having to work then come home and do the washing, cooking etc etc. I seriously don’t know how they do it!

I think judgement comes when there’s envy. The stay at home mum may wish she had a career where she could balance life and kids and the working mum may simply want to sit and watch her child as he throws balls at the window in the winter sun. Either way, they’ve made their choice and it baffles me that we cannot be more supportive of each other.

I have very definite views on motherhood, so this article feels a little hypocritcal but I do think mums could relate better. There are so many taboos when you think about it: bottle vs breast, controlled crying vs no crying, hover mothers vs the free range variety, sleepovers at 5 vs sleepovers at 15, tv vs hippy-ville, private vs public schools, activities vs hometime, junk food vs healthy, conservative vs liberal, toys vs books, discipline vs ‘freedom’, exercise vs video games, Barbies vs Brats, Star Wars vs Ben 10… yadda yadda yadda!

Isn’t it crazy? The comparisons begin when the child is in womb for crying out loud. Talk about competitive! We must give each other a break. Parenting is difficult enough without piling petty pressures on each other. So let’s air those taboos and see them for what they really are… For in the end, all that matters is that we raise whole, happy, together, loved and safe kids who respect authority, look after the ‘little’ and, when it’s their turn to be a parent, do a better job than us!

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