Stop for a moment and think. Has the world reached a terrible climax? Are the prophesies true? Are we all about to be vaporised? I wouldn’t be surprised. After all, the universe is physically shrinking as technology makes the world shrink.

Bombs are being created with much evil laughter by those in power and the poor old ice bergs are withering in the arctic sun. The polar bears will have to move to Australia, killing all the bandicoots and turtles and people are making their own heads spin with grand desires to own it all, be everything and do everything. It’s enough to make one simultaneously combust!

Now, it has been reported that you can rent a friend. Stop. Think. Rent a friend? Whatever happened to hanging out with people from work or other parents or similar organic relationships! Sounds a bit seedy to me. But it’s all on the up and up. Apparently, Australians are too busy to get off their sociable butts and make their own friends. So some tricky businesspeople are cashing in.

This is the generation that eats foul dried pasta with foul powdered milk and fake bacon out of a satchel cos we cannot find the time to eat proper food. We are those who have 18 tvs in our house just in case we miss something. We even have tvs (or the equivalent) on our phones so we’re never bored. No wonder the world is about to end!

Whatever happened to staring out of the window, dreaming about the world, thinking up new stories and having important thoughts while our saliva runs down the backseat window? We leave the stories to the so-called professionals who give us scenario after scenario. We are so hungry for more that these writers push the boundaries, even for kids, so that we know how to do an autopsy on a murder victim, while diagnosing someone suffering from Hepatitis. It’s madness.

So longing for the simple life. And what if it happened. What if all the knowledge we had disappeared. What if we had to start again? We’d have to plant vege patches (yippee) and share them with our neighbours who would give us eggs from their very own chickens. The hunters would bring back a slab of crocodile and kangaroo and we’d have to take our time to collect wood for our fire. Tea would be made from pine needles and our nights filled with stories; true and false.

Then at the end of that long, simple day, we’d all sleep deeply, undisturbed by severed legs, headless ghosts and mass murderers. Would the world be a better place if it ended?

Check out: