<a href="Face The Monster by Frits Ahlefeldt “>

Image by Frits Ahlefeldt

Feeling uncomfortable, scared and guilty? That’s living! Life is not always about feeling comfortable, growing fat and working on the indentation in your life spot, it’s about taking chances, doing it afraid. Life is not really about finding perfect happiness, it’s about challenges and overcoming stuff which sometimes feels incredibly painful.

A few years ago I decided to deal with some stuff in my life. So I went to counselling. Best thing I could have done. I recommend it to anyone, even if you’re not in a crisis. It was so helpful to sit and talk with an objective, professional person. To get their feedback on my decisions, my future and my past.

When I started, I felt like the psychologist was going to ‘bust’ me. I thought she’d get out her red pen and hammer me for all the mistakes I’d made, the difficult parts of my personality but in the end the whole experience was incredibly affirming. She did help me in my ‘growth’ areas but in a gentle way, giving me tools to help calm me down and basically be a better mum.

The best idea was to send myself to ‘Time Out’ when I felt I was going to lose it. She said that my kids would remember me yelling and carrying on but they wouldn’t remember me having a moment. So wise. She also suggested making a cup of tea just to take the time to calm down and gather my thoughts. I love practical wisdom and she was full of it!

The easy way out is to ignore the problems that fester, to just accept that life is like that and you can never change. But you can! It’s not that I had a personality transplant or anything, the counselling just got rid of a load of rubbish and enhanced my good parts. Dealing with the difficult stuff of the past gave me freedom and understanding I could never conjure on my own. It’s just not possible to get that kind of perspective without an outsider’s view.

There’s a time in your life where you just have to grow up and get on with it. Many people get stuck as children or teenagers which means their adult life is filled with adolescent problems and attitudes. By facing the ugly truth of my life, my attitudes and relationships I learned to deal with all of them differently, as an adult. That is freedom.

I will always be grateful to a gorgeous friend who told me to get outside help when I blew a blood vessel in both eyes from stress. She even paid for the first few sessions. I love friends who say it how it is, even if it is hard to hear sometimes. But today I am proud of what I did. I am so happy that I did the hard yards and spent some time working out who I was, how I could improve and how the past effected me. I totally recommend it to you. But be warned, as my lovely mother-in-law says, “Counselling is not for wimps!”

So be brave!

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