I must say outright that my little girl is gorgeous. Nearly every time I take her out in public some one will comment on how beautiful her hair is or what she is wearing. I know people mean well but I don’t want her to think that is all she has to offer.

I just read a great article on the topic of how adults relate to little girls and here’s the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ref=fb&src=sp. This is a humbling read. I’m sure many of us have seen a cutie patootie of a little girl and said how beautiful they look or how gorgeous their dress was or something similar. I have. Heaps of times. But it’s time to get smart.

When I was a kid, I grew up thinking that the most important gift I had was that I was pretty (without being too vain). My brother was a great artist and I was the passably good looking out-there kid. In the end that’s all I felt I had to offer. I did ok at school but I was no child genius so I thought I was dumb. But, at least I had my looks… right?

This is something I don’t want for any kid. The pressure of fitting in, wearing the right clothes and hanging with the right people can be downright disastrous for anyone, let alone an awkward teenager or child. Our culture is drowning in this message. We still put make up on kids in the school dance groups. They are eight years old for goodness sake. I know it’s tradition but what are we teaching our kids?

I want my daughter to know that beauty is all about your heart, your words, your actions and how you live your life. Roald Dahl puts it perfectly in his book The Twits. He says,

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly…if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

I do not want my daughter growing up with the pressure to be something hollow. I want her to be a whole person using every gift she has to make her mark on the world. I want her to understand that in some countries people spend hours walking to get water. They don’t have the luxury to be self obsessed.

It’s time we taught our kids that some of the ‘littlest’ people in the world are the best. I want her not to judge others by what they look like but how they live their life. And I want her to look in the mirror and see more that a mouth, nose, eyes and that amazing hair.

So, Lisa Bloom, I will try to change my ways. I will try not to just compliment girls on their looks. I will dig deeper so that they know that there is more to life than what they see in the mirror.

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