As a kid I truly believed that the perfect family existed. It wasn’t mine but, like all fairytales, I believed a prince and princess would marry and they would live happily ever after with their perfect offspring. Sigh. The sunset would have ridden into and a wedding would happen in a castle heated by love. Blergh.

If you still believe in such fairytales, excuse me while I bust your bubble. Revelation time: there is no perfect marriage and there are no perfect families. Now, take a moment for that to sink in… and we’re moving on!

I’m sure you can remember when you looked at some families and believed that they had it all together. The marriage seemed hunky dory and the kids seemed to gel. They had the BEST toys, a great dog and friendly neighbours. Everyone seemed to love them and all was rosy. Perhaps compared to your life it was heavenly but heaven ain’t on earth, no matter how much we want it to be.

I remember when my ‘perfect family’ bubble burst. It was the moment my friend came to me in tears after a fight with her mum. A fight? In their house? Never! Sad but true. And over the years the golden shine of that family has tarnished. I’m kinda happy about that. It’s a lot to live up to. I have a lot more respect for my friend and still hold much affection for her family but they’re not a perfect unit. How good is that?

I look at my own little family and wonder how we seem to the outside world. We try very hard to be a happy family but I never want anyone to assume it’s all roses and rainbows behind closed doors cos it’s not. Our kids get on pretty well but aren’t perfect, nor do I want them to be. My little man seems to hate conflict and runs away from it. Sometimes that’s good cos it keeps the peace but I worry about how that will effect him in the future.

My daughter and I tend to provide the ‘interest’ in the family. Meaning that we’re a little bit spunky and have tantrums from time to time. We can be ever so loving and the next minute spittingly frustrated. We take out our enormous feelings out on whomever is closest and that is often the boys. Sorry fellas!

It’s all about balance and being honest, I reckon. About letting each other be who they be without causing too much pain and conflict. Though my girl can scream and yell that I don’t love her, I have to hold that, have to just walk her through her feelings and teach her right from wrong without losing my temper. It’s hard work. And it’s not always pretty. My neighbours can vouch for that!

We need to get it firmly implanted in our brains that there is no perfect family. Yippee. It’s kinda unfair putting that label on anyone;  no one can ever live up to that. So let us join hands and embrace our imperfections, have a giggle and let it all go!

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