Generally speaking, women are known for their ability to manipulate. It is like an inbuilt urge to control and twist to get what they want. While this may be handy in parenthood or business, it is not generally the best idea.

In most situations, I know if I say the right things, if I bat my little eyelashes, if I look sad and sorry enough, I can get what I want. I try so hard not to do this because it’s an ugly habit. We’ve all met master and mistress manipulators. More often than not, they are not the nicest people. You cannot trust their intentions nor what they say. Shifty eyed bunch!

Some of us are part time manipulators. When the heat is on, the urge to manipulate rises. There may be no money in the bank, you may be desperate for time away from the kids or you may really need that pair of cutie patootie shoes. These desires powerfully blind us to the dark side of manipulation. It’s like we’ve got our blinkers on and all we can see is what we want… NOW!

Some people wear manipulation as a badge. They bulldoze their way into situations or weed their way through relationships to get what they want. The overt manips are often weirdly respected in our culture. We have a “good on them” kind of attitude, like it’s something to aspire to. The covert manips are the dangerous ones; not so flashy or obvious. You often don’t know you are being controlled until it’s too late. It’s a horrible feeling.

I hate feeling like I’m inadvertently manipulating someone. I’m a verbal spewer, so whatever is troubling me at the time I will verbalise if asked. I really need to hold back details sometimes because it may seem like I’m asking for money, or at least hinting, when I’m simply expressing a frustration or a worry. Then, when someone offers to pay for something, I give myself an inner uppercut and a physical slap on the forehead, because I don’t want to be that kind of person. Arrggh!

I wonder if manipulation is mostly a female thing. Or how men do it differently?

Have you had an encounter with a master or mistress manipulator? How did you cope?