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Us mummas are a colourful bunch. Some are energetic and resourceful, others cruisy and relaxed. And the rest, well, we’re a little in between.

Whatever ‘mother’ you are, you have to know that you have the most important job in the world. There is nothing more satisfying, difficult or meaningful than sowing into the next generation. It really brings out your true colours, tests you in all sorts of interesting ways and reveals a depth of love you may not have realised existed.

Mothers can be tough on each other. This perhaps stems from our own insecurities or guilt from past failures or simply because we are stuck in our own ways. I am a routine mum. I liked the control crying thing, I like boundaries and in the past I may have come across a little judgemental of others who didn’t quite do things my way.

Ah. Now I am a sort of grown up mumma, I can sit back and laugh at my audacity. Like I know what’s best for someone else’s child! Nowadays I appreciate the variety of mothers, I can empathise a little better and it has dawned on me that what us mums need most is encouragement.

So, I try my hardest to pop in encouragement (always has to be genuine) into my conversations with my  mum friends. They are usually pleasantly surprised to receive a compliment, especially when it comes to their parenting techniques. Because, let’s face it, we all  have our closed doors yelling, stomping moments. And the feedback from our pathetic attempt at parenting is often negative or condemning. There just isn’t enough encouragement flung around from mum to mum! Shame!

It’s easy to do and it makes such a difference. When mums feel appreciated, they tend to do a better job. It’s easier to feel patient when someone has told you how much they respect your parenting. When someone believes in you, it makes you want to try harder. When everyone is telling you that you’re a failure, it’s easy to drop the ball and start losing the plot with the kids, cos you’re already (apparently) a failure so it doesn’t matter!

So, my rambling thoughts summarised are: be kind to each other, speak the positive, encouraging things you think  and remember that we’re all in it together doing the best we can! Isn’t that cool?

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There is a line drawn in the sand of a soul that marks out a person’s breaking point. There is always an unsettling and unfamiliar feeling about this line. It seems to move with the tide and so it often catches this soul unaware

As a mum, I can be so busy with my ‘to do’ list that I don’t know I’ve hit that line until I’m looking back at it, struggling in the heavy surf. “Help”. I fumble, panic-stricken, trying to remember how to get back behind that wretched mark. Relax. Go with the flow. Let go!

I was talking with a group of mums about this experience. Some days you are a capable on the ball, success of a mother, the next day, you find yourself sinking (sometimes literally)  down to the depths of a powerless, weak place.  They are  hermit days, doona days. You hide away, hoping for an early sunset and the dawn of a new and happier day!

Mothers often view each other through golden lenses, “If only I could be like Amy, so together with her 54 children and I can’t keep it together with my 2!” or “Look how Samantha works, plays with her kids, takes them to soccer, ballet, drawing lessons, guitar, wrestling, dominoes and builds them billy carts in her spare time. If only I could do half of that!” Comparing ourselves only leads to failure-land where people walk around, heads peering at the ground, tripping over, eyes perpetually tear-filled and the air thick with despairing moans. No one wants to live there.

From failure-land you can almost make out that breaking point line. You’ve gone too far! Come baaaccckkk. Living behind the line means no more comparisons, no more golden glasses, no more competition. It is a peaceful place of contentment. There is no failure, for it is a land where you only do what you can do. And that is a land I want to live in.

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