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Trust is such a tricky thing. You trust strangers to fly planes right, drivers to make safe decisions on the roads, doctors to get a diagnosis spot on but how much do we really trust the people we know?

The first line of trust is yourself. Think about the last decision you made. Was it the right one? Because it may affect how you trust yourself in the future. If you keep making dodgy decisions, even in small things, it tends to wear your confidence down until you feel like a wet rag flapping in the wind. If you don’t really trust yourself how can you trust others?

Second level of trust includes the people you know intimately. This is a tricky one because the more you know someone the more they’re inevitably going to let you down because no one is perfect. My hairdresser told me that she deliberately keeps friends at arm’s length so they can’t hurt her. Pretty full on decision there my hairdresser. What you miss out on is the good times too. Friends can be your biggest fans, they can free you to be yourself, be an awesome shoulder to cry on or speak some hard truths into your life that you need to hear. I’m talking good friends here.

Family can be dicey because there’s so much history and assumptions are rife. How can you trust people who constantly push your buttons. This history can be so ingrained that it is difficult for anyone to change and relationships then stay on the surface because no one has the courage to put themselves on the line, because trust has been worn down.

Strangers. Ah. We all know about stranger-danger. We all watch the news and see the horrible things people do to each other. Just last night a stranger put, what police thought was a bomb around an 18 year old girl’s neck, just to get money from her millionaire father. What psycho does that? That poor girl will be traumatised for a long time and will, no doubt, find it impossible to trust strangers. We had a rapist in our town steal kids from their beds and dump them after he had his way with them. Then, when I was 17, I was followed to school by a bikie type guy in a car. Needless to say, my trust of strangers went downhill from there. To the point where I found it scary to take a walk by myself.

Trust is risky business. (Don’t think of Tom Cruise in his undies, Don’t think of Tom Cruise in his undies). It is making yourself vulnerable. No one wants to be gullible and fall for scammers. It’s kinda sad that our world has come to this but in a way it is human nature. It takes courage and wisdom to know who to trust when.

What are your thoughts on trust?

 

Life Lessons for children: How we stuff them up!

1. Stranger Danger. How much do we go on and on and on about stranger danger? We tell our children not to talk, go with or accept gifts from strangers. And then there’s Santa Claus. As a story or a fun activity, Santa is great. Bring him on. When it comes to enforcing the stranger danger message, this is where, we as parents, stuff up. “Look Cynthia, a funny man with a beard covering his face. Why don’t you go and sit on his knee without mumma and have your photo taken. Awww look Cynthia, he’s got a present for you!” FAIL.

2. Violence. Smacking is a controversial thing in our society. Remember the ‘good old’ days when your father took a wooden spoon, stick or belt to your rump? A while ago, my daughter lashed out at me and hit me on the arm. Now, I don’t often smack my kids but this was a big “no, no”. I held her hand and gave it a quick smack while saying, “Don’t hit”. FAIL.

3. Snacking. I must confess my love of sweets. Lollies, chocolate, biscuits, cakes; you name it, I’ll eat it. However, I am very aware of what my kids eat; they have limited snacks each day. I’m trying to teach them good eating habits that they can carry with them into the junk-filled teenage years and beyond. Do I practice what I preach? Ah, sometimes, yes, sometimes, no! In our house there’s ‘adult’ food and ‘kids’ food. Unfortunately for my kids, adult food is more fun! Perhaps that means that when they are adults themselves, they will go loco with the sugar!? FAIL

4. Manners. At meal times, I take the opportunity to teach my children manners. We have a chart on the wall, an illustration of dos and don’ts to make it easy for the little monkeys to remember. They include things like, “don’t talk with food in your mouth, do sit in your chair, do lean over your plate…”. As my son has often pointed out, “Why do adults talk with food in their mouth?” My answer: “Adults have more to say and more to do.” Double standard. FAIL.

Summary section: I think it’s good that parents fail a little. It’s even better if we can laugh at our failures and move on with our lives. Ha ha! Double standards. Whooo hoo, hypocrisy. It’s not that we want to confuse the little darlings with our duplicitous behaviour. What we want is for them to know we are human and we sometimes get it wrong, so they, too, can feel free to stuff up.

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